I hate all girls vehemently.
I cannot find my penis.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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