This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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