She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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