it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
