He kissed a someone with a penis
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
