He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
