they need to just BURY HIM!
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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