I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
