sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
