Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
