you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
