he looks like a really good dad on facebook
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
