Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
