I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
