I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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