Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
