PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
