you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
