Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
How does it feel to date your dad?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
