do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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