You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
