i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
