so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
