You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
