i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
