my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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