Whoa Z and x make the same sound
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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