We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
