i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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