can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
