I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
