I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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