# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize