Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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