he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
