in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
