ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Four minutes until I can fart!
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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