Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You took a bar mat shot.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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