the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Sorry about my life...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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