why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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