well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
