She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
