are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
