look no pants
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
