Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Randomize