Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
not ubering you a puppy
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
