hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
