I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
