can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
