I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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