Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
