I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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