Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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