woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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