Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
It's just like the Real World with babies
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
