Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
