Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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