Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I think people are normalizing furries
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
