You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
