Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
